I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
