I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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