That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
