O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
