sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
