end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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