How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
