OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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