Sorry, I don't speak sober.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
