Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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