why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
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