awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Randomize
