I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I want her autograph on my taint
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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