I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize