I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
