woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
