Don't you send me to vm
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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