does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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