Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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