Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
