I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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