And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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