i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
