Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
