He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
