Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize