walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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