fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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