ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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