I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
We need to get me chipped asap
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