i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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