I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
