So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
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