I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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