your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
