In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
