I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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