is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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