he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
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