I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
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