i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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