I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
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