There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
