She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
