no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
