i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize