His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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