i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
