OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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