we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
