god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
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He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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