Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Randomize
