if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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