That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
